Happy Valentine´s Day. We celebrated in style here, going to eat at the nicest hotel in town, which by the way, had the best dang soup, french fries, and burritos ever eaten. We then went to Ovi & Ser to get some cake, which we brought back and ate while watching a movie. It was a good night, complete with listing five reasons why we love each other, laughing, and a general peace.
Saturday morning proved to be a hard one. I awoke in a panic at about 5 a.m. I have serious anxiety and had not taken my medicine for two days. I had not taken it because my american prescription ran out and we had to purchase the medicine here, and it is about forty five dollars for twenty pills, which lasts me ten days. Very Expensive. So, in my own wisdom, I decided to see if I could make it without medicine. I did fine on Thursday and Friday, but woke up on Saturday panicking. I immediately began to recite to myself all of the characteristics of God and how He has blessed us, I also took my medicine. I laid back down in bed and began to sob. It was overwhelming to be so worried about how expensive the medicine is. It was my own wisdom and fear that led me down that path, my own wisdom that allowed me to think that I know better even after I prayed about getting off medicine and God said to stay on. Jd and I prayed through it and got up about eight and began our day. I continued to pray through the morning during my run, prayer that God would heal my anxiety and depression, that I would remember His goodness and faithfulness. That He would be made known through my struggles and triumphs, even more so than He has before.
The thing that I know about God is that nothing surprises Him. He knew how much medicine was here before I even needed to think about buying it. He knew that there would be days that began with sobs in the bedroom and aches in our hearts. He is not surprised when we are. He is our provider. He is our good. He is my Father. So, He has provided for us so far, and He will continue to do so. He clothes the flowers of the field, He feeds the birds of the air, and we are much more important to Him.
These are some lyrics from Jon Foreman´s song ¨Your love in strong¨
I look out the window
The birds are composing
Not a note is out of tune
Or out of place
I look at the meadow
And stare at the flowers
Better dressed than any girl
On her wedding day
So why do I worry?
Why do I freak out?
God knows what I need
You know what I need
Nothing prepared us for this journey, nothing prepares us for what awaits us tomorrow. Some days we awake renewed and excited to see what God has. Some days we wake up with an aching for our families, our home in Texas. Some days I awaken with an ache for my home in heaven. Sundays are proving to be an emotionally hard day for Jd. We are missing our church, our Sunday school kids, our routine. So in these times, we rejoice in the good things and things we love here, and we hold tight to the promise that God will not leave us, He has not led us here to abandon us. He is good and wise and does what is best for His children.
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