June 19, 2011
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AAAAH….Freak out!
Okay, I know it’s Father’s Day so “Happy Father’s Day!”.
And now, onto the blog. Well, let’s see here. I am now on day two of my new medicine. The one which I have googled and read about and all that stuff. I read that it causes weight gain, I read that it causes weight loss, I have also read that it can cause painful, long lasting erections. I figure since I am a girl, I needn’t worry about the last one. To say the least, I am freaked out about this medicine. And I blame the internet.
I went to pick it up yesterday morning, and the lady asked me if I had ever taken it. I answered no, and went to the next window to talk to the pharmacist about the medicine, when I should take it and all that stuff. So, I am feeling pretty confident and begin to walk away. Then she says as I walk away “Oh, and it may cause weight gain”.
Cue utter and complete panic.
Words to not say to a recovering eating disorder semi-neurotic person in the middle of a life transition…”may cause weight gain”.
So, I walk out, go home, lay out by the pool and continue to struggle through each and every meal just like usual. Except this time, there is this voice looming over my head “might cause weight gain, might cause weight gain…”
So, here we are.
And, just a word on the side, I am well aware that people have life threatening illnesses, live in trash dumps, are sold into slavery, and that gaining weight is not the worst thing in the universe. I am not, however, going to pretend that gaining weight is not a big deal, especially to those who are in recovery from an eating disorder whose primary diagnosis is “fear of gaining weight”. So, I am pretty freaked out right now, and am asking for some serious prayer.
May God protect me, cover me, and bring me His peace as I struggle to adjust to this medicine, and it’s effects if there are any. I am praying that there aren’t.
Thanks.
