July 3, 2011

• Befuddling Things

  Happy Birthday, USA! You are a country of wonderful freedom and opportunity, so I will gladly celebrate this day with you! I will not, however, pretend that the US is the greatest country in the world. That would be Honduras.

  And now, my thoughts. I was thinking yesterday about trends that I just don’t get. There are many things I have not gotten in my life, I am not a trend driven person, so often I get totally befuddled at things people choose to do.

  Here are a few things I just plain don’t understand:

  1. Hitting on people at the gym: I have been subject to this many a time, and it is always when I am at my sweatiest, usually lifting or something, so I wonder what someone is thinking when they come up to me and start hitting on me. I know what I am thinking and it’s usually “Um…A. I have on a wedding ring and B. I am sweating profusely so what are you doing? and C. I am not here to make friends, I am here to work out and leave”.

  2. Burn-Out Shirts: You’ve seen them, they look like there are lots of holes and faded non-sense and you have to wear a shirt under them, and I just think it’s just a bit ridiculous to HAVE to wear two shirts.

  3. Planking: It’s this trend where you lay down somewhere random, take a picture, and post it to twitter. Ridiculous.

  4. Reading Blogs of People you don’t know and Considering them your friends: No explanation needed. I read blogs, however, I do not consider these people my friends. Friends are people you call, text, see, or talk to on a relatively regular interval, and most importantly HAVE MET IN REAL LIFE.

  5. Little Dogs: This is just a personal preference, but if you are going to have a dog, at least have a real dog. Not a shitzopoodlechichuaha. Again, personal preference, not a judgement statement to small dog owners.

  6. Sweaters on Dogs: Again, little explanation needed. Dogs don’t need sweaters, coats, raincoats, things like that, because God made them with fur. I did, however, dress my dog up for Halloween once, but in my defense, it was a bit and the costume was on clearance.

  7. Long toenails: Gross

  8. Movie Sequels: Some are necessary, but I just think sometimes the greediness of people gets in the way of genius. Sometimes we need to leave well enough alone. Like “Hangover 2″. The first one, genius. Adding another one of with the same dang shtick. Lame. And don’t get me started on “The Land Before Time”…

  9. Fake Tanning: Yes, I do tan, outside in the summer. I also enjoy being tan. I do, however, wear sunscreen and think that subjecting yourself to something that causes cancer is just a bit silly. And dudes who fake tan, there is never a good enough reason.

  10. People who hold their babies while smoking: Just kill yourself, not your baby.

  • 3:43 pm
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