Yesterday afternoon, Jd, Arturo, and I went to go look at possible land for the orphanage. Jim, our missionary friend here, and Dave, who runs the non-profit we go through, will be in Danli and will look at the land next month. In March, there is a group of possible investors coming to look at the land and do some other mission work, so we want to have the best possible options for them to look at. 

The first land we went to was right off the highway, about ten minutes outside of town. It wasn’t quite what I wanted, as it isn’t as isolated and quiet as I would like. But we looked, and the few acres it was is priced at a nice $50,000. Holy Crap. Oh, and it had a huge creek running through it. No one seemed to think this was an issue, but all I could think was “FLOOD ZONE!”. 

Then, the guy took us to the plot of land near our school, and it was about the size of my mom’s backyard. Um, not exactly, what I had in mind either. Arturo made me laugh because we got out of the car, the guy started walking to the land and Arturo goes “Vamanos” or “Let’s go”, or as he was probably thinking “Swing and a miss”. 

Then we drove up near our school and stopped at this really nice land. It had a pond, or dengue pit, as I would call it. It was isolated, but not far from the city. It was also cooler because it was up in the hills. I became a little more relaxed as we looked at this land because it was more what I was picturing. Then, it started to rain, so we ran back to the car. On the way back, the guy stopped to talk to another realtor and we found out that the land had been sold. Oh well. 

Then I got really frustrated because the guy kept asking us if we wanted to go look at land in Jamastran. We do not want to live there. First of all, Jd and I are beginning to think that I am allergic to corn pollen, and Jamastran is basically a huge valley full of corn fields. Secondly, it’s hot there. Thirdly, it’s far away. We tried to explain to him that we are not interested in Jamastran. Finally, Arturo stepped in and told him we didn’t want to live there because it is not conducive to what we want to do with the land. Then the guy asked Arturo to stop so he could buy some beans from some lady who lived near one of the properties. WHAT?!?!

So, we have one more property to look at. It is about 30 minutes away from Danli, up in the mountains. It is already a resort center, so there is a center house, a pool, and some other things there. I have seen it once, and it is very nice. However, in my dreams, we are not so far away from the city. Plus the road to get there can be impassible in the rain. So, there are pros and cons to the land…as with everything. 

So, we will wait and see and pray. 

I am sitting in my classroom. I have taken down the posters, drawings, calenders, and other various art that lined the walls. I just finished report cards for second grade and will start the ones for first grade tomorrow. I cannot believe this year is over. Most of the time I just battle to get through each day, trying with limited success to share my heart in Spanish, to help children learn in another language, trying not to cuss at the men who “holla” at me while I run, trying to get to the next thing, trying to survive. 

I cannot believe this year is over. I long to believe that I will leave this year a more Godly, lovely woman, but I don’t think that is true. I think I leave this country for the holidays with a little bit of bitterness. I leave this country with a little less sparkle in my soul. I don’t think it is a bad thing, however. This year, I have seen the effects of the fall in a way that I had not before. I have learned what I am grateful to have learned growing up in America, and what I wish more Americans knew. I have learned what a train-wreck I can really be if I do not stay close to the Father. I have had many disappointing moments this past year, and I know those moments will most likely still occur next year. 

I had a vision for what I wanted my year to be. But my vision was not God’s. 

So, I lean into Him, and learn what His vision for this year was, because what He wanted to happen this year, well, it happened.

He wanted…

Children to hear about how Jesus came to save Sinners.

Jd and I learn what it means to rely on your spouse, we are closer than ever.

For me to learn what real servant-hood is by being loved so well by Arturo and Ruth.

For teenage boys to learn from Jd that lust is not cool.

For families to be fed, clothed, and prayed for.

For us to eat beans and eggs almost everyday.

For me to learn that when He brings a baby, that will be the right time.

He wanted me to learn to trust that what He has is

best.

I don’t think I will ever fully understand that, or trust in it, but I know that God will be faithful to complete what He has started…whatever that might be.

Well, we had a very busy week this week. The result of which was me sleeping from 9:45 Friday night to 1:45 Saturday afternoon. That’s a lot of sleep, and I would have slept longer bust Jd was worried and woke me up. Lame. 

My dad came to visit for a few days. We picked him up on Tuesday, then went to the Immigration Office to get an extension on our visas. We met some other gringos there, some of whom were only three months into their time here in Honduras. After that, we went to PriceMart, and then to the mall for a late lunch/dinner. On Wednesday, Jd and I went to school at 7, and then JD came back to get my dad about 10. My dad hung out with me in 2nd grade, where, shockingly, the children wrestled, screamed, and generally acted a fool. After school was over, we were planning on going to the Rocky Patel cigar factory, but they weren’t letting people in to buy. I think they realized that lots of gringos would come and buy their cigars for the holidays, and they didn’t want to sell them at discount. We can buy a box that would sell for $200 in the states for about $20-$25 dollars here. Since that didn’t happen, we went to lunch and then we took my dad to the trash dump to visit the people there. We had blankets, hygiene kits, toys, and a few items of clothing. We walked around, handed out what we had, wished them a Merry Christmas, and went home. On the way home, we stopped at the UniPlaza, where we got a coffee and I got a new shirt! We also purchased a few Christmas presents. After the mall, we went to visit the church, and show my dad the flood damage that is still around and the new tile. The church had lots of fundraisers and a few private donations and finally raised the money to lay new tile on the floor. It looks amazing! I am very proud of the generosity of the people of our church, as the majority of them are very poor. 

On Thursday, I went to school from 7-8 to practice our song for the Talent Show, then we drove my dad to Teguc to the airport. We spent some time in the airport with him, and then when he went to security, we went to a small tourist town near Teguc to shop for Christmas presents. 

It was a short visit, but it was good to see family. I would post more pictures, but apparently I have reached my “upload” allowance for the month, whatever. 

Well, here we are. Almost finished with the first year here. I am excited, to say the least, about coming home, but I am panicked on some levels. Honestly, I feel like I have failed this year.

We have been here a year and I still cannot speak Spanish well. I know it makes me sound unintelligent, the way I stumble around and make little or no sense when I talk. I know I say things like “I to go at the store and here have new things”. Yes, I know for a fact I have said that sentence. I understand, I read, but speaking still eludes me. 

I had many dreams and ideas for my first year. I would have a class full of kids who speak English and love me. Instead, I have a handful of students who speak to me in English, and a room full of kids who cannot subtract. I think they love me, but if obedience is a sign of being loved, well, then, I am not so sure how they feel about me.

I had the idea that Jd and I would be working with all these kids and really reaching out and making a difference here. Instead, I find myself frustrated with how little we seem to see the children I wanted to reach. There is one kid, Pantera (named this because we have no clue what his name is and he had a Pantera hat on in a picture we took), we pray for this kid every night. We haven’t seen him in a year. 

I had the idea that we would be well on our way to opening the orphanage we dream of. We haven’t even had the opportunity to look at the land, as the realtor had a heart attack, so he’s been a little too busy to show it to us. I am still hoping that we will have the chance to look at that before we leave for the States. As we haven’t had a chance to look at this land, or at any other land, we can’t really project the amount of money needed, or the amount of work needed. We haven’t been able to begin the residency process, and it is going to be time consuming. 

I had a dream that I would come home to visit at Christmas, tan, thin, and pregnant. It looks at though I will return with tan lines, a few extra pounds, and no bun in the oven. And, so, I feel as though I have, once again, fallen short of the perfectionistic plan I set out for myself. 

The good thing is that I am not planning this thing. God is in charge of everything, from what the kids at school learn, to when the orphanage works to, if I get rid of these tan lines…and He is something I can put my trust in.

I was told once that living abroad brings out the worst in you. It’s true. I have been struggling quite a bit this past month or so. My temper has been awful, I just get so frustrated and angry at the dumbest crap. And I get really angry at the serious stuff.

 The truth is, well, I am tired. I am exhausted. I am just ready to throw in the towel. The kids in my class are terrible, so terrible that I cried in class today out of exasperation. Can’t they just behave? I can’t even write on the board because every time I turn around, someone ends up fighting or wrestling on floor, or walking out of the room. Sometimes I wonder why I am even there. I know there are some kids in my class who are learning. I know there are some kids who actually behave. 

I need a break. I need some rest.

On August 18, our church flooded. Within a few weeks, we had received thousands of dollars in relief for the people of Danli, as well as to help rebuild the church. This past month, our church purchased a new sound system with some of the donated money, and we used to rest to purchase supplies for the people in the area. This past Saturday, Jd, Arturo, and I bought mattresses and chairs and delivered them to an area near our church. We cannot thank you enough for your support and love. The Lord has blessed us tremendously.

And now, pictures!

The country of Nicaragua lies a mere 30 miles or so away from Danli. Just a jaunt, really, as we used to drive to Denton multiple times a week all the way from North Richland Hills. It’s just a short car ride, really. Jd and I decided to drive there today, just to look around, see what’s what in another Central American country. 

You see, things have gotten a little boring here. We haven’t had visitors in a while, but have been so busy with school that we haven’t been able to take a trip to Teguc for a movie or american dinner. Take our busy schedule, plus Jd being sick for almost two weeks (he’s finally better), and our impending trip home, and I have been developing some cabin fever. 

This week we celebrating the 21st Anniversary of our school (post on that later) and today we had a parade to celebrate. As a result of this parade, we didn’t have school and had a free day from 10 a.m. on…so…we had a great idea…let’s drive to Nicaragua!

We came home, gathered our passports, cash, camera, gassed up the car, and hit the road. I had checked online and looked at the nearest city to the border, and it is tourism town, so I was psyched! We drove the thirty minutes to the border, and the whole way I willed myself to stay awake (something that is hard to do these days). It was a beautiful drive through the coffee fields of Honduras. Shorter than expected, we made it to the border. We parked (after accidentally almost driving over the border and being chased down), got our passports copied, our immigration forms filled out and copied, and I was getting excited/nervous. It is pretty scary to go to another country, when you barely manage the language and have no idea what to expect. Anyway, we were almost ready, when they came asking for our papers for the car. We had one paper, but not the other one, and apparently this information was needed. 

Sadly, we got back in the car, turned around, and headed home, where we spent the day laying in our bed, watching Arrested Development on the laptop. 

There was one upside, however…we stopped at a gas station on the way home where I found my favorite hard candy….yep, Root Beer Barrels. 

Okay, well I am going to rest easy tonight. Honduras has announced they aren’t letting any witches into the country to celebrate Halloween. Well, good, I was worried.

This was in the newspaper earlier this week…

“The Minister of Interior and Population, Africo Madrid, said that mayors and are instructed to cancel any event related to the celebration of satanic festivals or cults.“We’re not going to let them into the country. Obviously, such people are charlatans, swindlers who prey on the innocence of people or their beliefs or superstitions. “

 And more from the Minister:

 “I take this opportunity to ask all people, especially Christians, to prevent their children from participating in celebrations that are not part of the Honduran national or cultural traditions, such as the Satanic holiday Halloween. That’s not part of our culture or beliefs and traditions of our country.”

So, while I rest easy knowing witches won’t get me, I know that out there someone just got murdered. Let’s focus on that stuff, okay?

It was this exact date last year when we visited Danli to confirm our plans for living here. I cannot believe it has been a year since we first visited our school, first saw our apartment, and had our first taste of OviSer restaurant. This evening we were talking about how we feel like we have changed since being here. Jd was telling me that he thinks my heart has grown. I told him I think I have become a slob, I can count on one hand the times I have actually fixed my hair since living here. But Jd, always the edifying one, told me that he thinks my heart is bigger and that I have become stronger.

I think God has been extremely gracious to me this year. I began this adventure fully expecting to sob everyday and miss my mom more than anything else. I do miss my mom, but I have only broke down and sobbed a handful of times. I began this year afraid of what types of food Honduras would bring for me, and I have found that God has given me extreme peace in the area of eating foods that were formerly considered “bad”.

God has been extremely gracious to Jd this year as well. He provided Jd with a male friend to talk sports with, which helped him greatly when we first moved here. He has opened Jd’s mind to allow him to understand and grasp the Spanish language. He has given JD a job with extreme flexibility for when he has gotten sick or needed to run to Teguc for something.

God’s grace has been extended to us in a way that we can never really grasp here on earth, He has given us humurous times here, times of heartache, times of exhaustion, times of great fellowship, and through it all, He has proven Himself faithful to us once again.

There are many things that have happened this year that I have learned…

1. In Honduras it is perfectly okay to come in a neighborhood in the middle of night with your super loud announcements blaring from your car and shoot off flare guns.  

2. I really miss working with children with autism.

3. Everyone is going to kiss you on the cheek here.

4. Cold showers aren’t really THAT bad.

5. Everything takes three times as long here…everything.

6. Pinatas are a very enjoyable activity at a birthday party.

7. Making plans, having a calender, and doing anything to prepare or before hand is soley an American phenomenon.

8. God bless Facebook, Skype, Digicel, Gmail, and the internet in general.

9. Apparently we have been committing the greatest of sins by dressing up for Halloween every year.

10. Honduras children tear everything up. Honduran adults tear everything up.

11. Floods have a smell that will never leave my head. 

12. Man may not live off bread alone, but he can live off of eggs and beans for dinner every night.

13. Going places they show on the travel channel really is as cool as it looks on the travel channel.

14. Wal-Mart and Target are not to be taken forgranted.

15. People really do get those weird diseases like Dengue Fever. People like JD. 

The past year has been a roller coaster to say the least. We are excited to see what God will be doing in the next year here…we hope you continue to join us in our adventure. 

p.s. I am very proud of the Texas Rangers…Way to go BOYS!!!!

Well, the past few days have been interesting around here. Jd is sick, and he has been for about a week. We are not sure what it is, combination of exhaustion, sore throat, fever, headaches, and cough. We went to the doctor on Monday, and she gave him all sorts of medicine, including antibiotics, steroids, and some sore throat syrup. He hasn’t been able to talk for a week, and we are praying he gets better soon. I am relieved, however, because I thought he had dengue or malaria. So, yay for no weird diseases! 

Speaking of weird diseases, there is currently an outbreak of leprosy in Honduras and Nicaragua…

Also, Jd started his own blog, as he likes to share his feelings and thoughts and stories as well. If you are so inclined…please read it here. 

Also, school is out on November 15th! I am very ready, to say the least. But the next few weeks will be very busy. We have the school’s anniversary next week, so we will have pinat’ as and stuff like that all week. We also have a spelling bee, art contest, and another parade to celebrate. The weeks after that will be full of getting ready for the “Talent Show” on November 12th. We will be singing Christmas songs. So, we have like three weeks left of school, and then we come home on December 2nd or 3rd, and we get to hang out with our friends, go to Target, visit QuikTrip, and take hot showers. It’s going to be rad!

Okay, bye.